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Everyone is on my good side when i’m high

I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident. No, seriously though… I didn’t. This motherfucker hit our car in a parking lot AND NOW we owe his damn car rental company like $3,000. So, why didn’t we flee the scene?!? Cause we we’re stoned. Everyone is on my good side when i’m high. I really don’t give a shit what goes on, life is good. But when i’m not high, you should probably not hit my motherfucking car and then sue me.

Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.


When your parents call… and you’re high.

I hate when I just got blazed and my parents call. They always talk for hours so they’re with me at the peak of my high. I’ve always been high when I lived with them and i’m pretty sure they burn too… But sometimes when i’m really high, I just don’t want to talk to them because i’m always thinking “on shit, they know i’m stoned!” They probably don’t care but I just don’t want them thinking i’m a stoner… which I am.
My dad’s always like “hey what are you doing today?” What I should say is “getting stoned, blogging about getting stoned, and watching Weeds.” but I lie and say “going for a walk, cleaning the house, and finding a job.” My mom likes to go on and on about god knows what for literally 20 minutes, and she’ll lose me… then she’ll say “well, what do you think?” Uhh…. can you repeat that? AND SHE WOULD! (only to lose me again) Mom, i’m stoned, You can’t talk longer than 30 seconds at a time or you’ll lose me. One day, when my parents finally admit that they burn, I wanna burn them out with some good shit, and then tell them what I honestly thought of them these past 21 years. I love them to death… most of the time.

Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.

Stoney dog. “Who’s a good dog?”


How stoned are you right now?

I’m about as stoned as this dog… How stoned are you? Take my new poll “How stoned are you right now?” under “Pakalolo Polls” and tell me just how stoned (or not stoned) you are.

Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.

It’s gonna be a long day…

Pineapple express, Hangover, Super Troopers… the funniest shit ever. And then you have a kid and cartoons become the funniest shit ever. Madagascar 1 & 2 makes me laugh, stoned or not. Actually, I’ve never watched it not stoned. Maybe I’ll have to do that tomorrow and let you know how it was. That’s IF I can remember not to smoke when I wake up. Ugh, it’s gonna be a long day……..

Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.

So, being honest with you guys…

So, being honest with you guys… I’m baked. It’s really hard to do anything you NEED TO do when you’re stoned. Say, you need to go to the bathroom to get a towel, but you end up brushing your hair… flossing your teeth… organizing the cabinets… and then walking out of the bathroom. This seems to happen to me a lot. But, I usually end up doing something a lot better then what I would have done if I was sober. If I was sober, I’d probably be looking up flights right now. Like I should be. But… I’m not. I’m writing a post on my blog about being high. And then……. you eat, you start getting lazy, and then you’re stuck to the couch. On that note…. I need to go look up flights.

Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.

Miss Magenta

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